Going North!

This is a commentary complied by me and my friends of our trip up to Parakou before Christmas. Travel in Benin is always an adventure!

5:47am -- Leave PC Office, get zems to bus place (Etoile Rouge)
6:03 -- Arrive at Etoile to mass chaos.
6:04-6:25 -- Attempt to make sense of chaos, are told to stand/sit/be in three places at once. Are subsequently ignored by four different bus officials when asking for clarification.
6:32 -- Get on bus that might be headed to Parakou. Maybe. Or Nigeria.
6:33 -- Get off of bus to put bags underneath (as instructed by angry bus man). Walk against tidal wave of angry Beninese men and Kleenex-selling Beninese women.
6:35 -- Back on bus, get settled.
6:48 -- Get yelled at to move to extreme back of bus so that it can leave on time.
6:49 -- Rumor spreads that something is wrong with bus. All other passengers get off of bus, decide that rumor is stupid, and get back on. Crisis averted.
7:03 -- Bus leaves, weirdly on time.
7:08 -- Realize that Official Bus Man is wearing a shirt that reads, in English, "Lazy and Proud."
7:13 --Someone throws a candy wrapper out of the window. It flies back into our window and hits Dione in the face.
7:18 -- Stop to pick up more people.
7:19 -- Same man throws another wrapper out window. It hits woman in front of us in the face.
7:48 -- Bus stops in the middle of main road for no known reason. No one gets on or off. Six minutes later, we go.
7:52 -- Feel strangely cold, thanks to the first moving air I've felt in a month. Use extra jeans as a shawl/mini blanket. Jeans were clearly not invented to be blankets.
9:07 -- Michael Jackson songs start playing from a mysterious source in the back of the bus. Mysterious, as the bus has no speakers.
9:52 -- Man falls asleep on Bridget. We giggle, take many pictures.
9:40 -- Start to get out of jungly south and into the drier Collines -- rolling hills, tall grass/scrub, and considerably worse roads.
10:12 -- We watch in horror as bus almost backs over three women and a giant pile of pineapples. The women make it out alive.
11:27 -- Pass 2 semis going up a steep hill, one of which is labeled "GAS." Surpisingly, do not die.
11:29 -- Road block: cows.
12:16 -- Dione gasps "OH. MY. GOD," next to me as I'm dozing. I wake up and, terrified, clutch the seat ahead of me, certain that I am about to meet Jehovah. It's more cows.
12:59 -- In the middle of nowhere, there's a bunch of logs on the road creating a kind of stunt driving course for all passing vehicles. Our driver zigzags through at minimum 80mph.
1:21 -- Woman in front of Dione literally just reaches up, tilts her hand back, and throws her garbage directly onto Dion. We die giggling (silently).
1:30 -- We have a mini dance party in the back of the bus. All other passengers fail to noties our genius on the improvised dance floor.
2:05 -- Another woman throws trash on Dione. We're not sure she even tried to find the window.
2:08 -- Drive into giant cloud of "ass-smelling" smoke. Wording courtesy of Bridget Kennedy.
2:56 -- Arrive at stop in Parakou, successfully avoid getting trampled in mass exodus from bus. Buy wine at nearest supermarche. We made it!